up to date now

I wanted to start a journal chronicling the new life that God has brought me into. No longer am I in bondage to my mother. No longer do I fear her disapproval. No longer is my life dictated by her whims. No longer do I even have to deal with her, as she has asked me to leave her alone. To get a quick start to this journal, I needed to provide the background from my postings on Facing-the-Facts.net website, which is the source of all the previous posts. Now, because God has given me the courage to stand up to her and enforce healthy boundaries, I can possess and enjoy my own life, and freely receive all that God has for me.

I am so thankful that He has given me my fiance and future step-daughter. Our wedding date is set for June 14, 2008. I have picked out my dress, chosen my bridesmaids, and reserved the church. Still tons to do, but I'm trusting in God to give me the strength to get it all done.

I've also been seeing a Christian counselor once a month and going to a co-dependency support group, so that the issues I have in my unresolved relationship with my mother don't bleed over into my marriage and family life.

The last I heard from momster, she left me a message that made it clear that she did afterall, read my letter. And she says, "We all wish you well, but there is no way I can take someone talking down about our family. So we wish you well, but please just leave us all alone."

The "talking down about our family" part is where my fiance asked her why neither me nor my siblings got married until we were in our forties. Actually, I'll be 45 on my wedding day - my first marriage. My brother S got married when he was around 43, but it only lasted four years. My brother M has been living with the same person on and off for almost twenty years, but never married her.

The background in which fiance asked momster is this: We had been dating that time for only 4 months. I needed wrist surgery, so fiance, then bf, offered to take me to the hospital. I knew momster wanted to go too, as she complained about me not calling her late at night to come to the emergency room where I was being treated for a broken wrist. So bf drove both of us to the hospital where I was having my surgery. Momster brought coffee, snacks and magazines for bf, and he thought, "Wow, what a nice lady." Except he couldn't read a single page of the magazines she gave him, because she talked his ear off the whole time as she usually does. So, he thought she was a very open and friendly person, and wouldn't mind him asking her something he was curious about. His intention was not to "talk down our family". His intentions was simply get to know and understand me better, by having a greater understanding of my family dynamics. He says he can't remember what her actual response was, but he did not get any indication that she was peeved at all by his question. Yet momster told me that she will never forgive him for it, nor will she ever forgive me for defending him.

Oh well.