Its been a couple weeks since I've been to this site, and it looks like my momster's letter hit a cord with quite a few of you. Thanks everyone for all your responses, but I've got some terrific news!! Congrats are in order for me, because my bf proposed, and we're planning a June wedding!
NotMissPerfect wrote:
I imagine she made distinction between you (adopted) and her biological kids.
No actually, we all were adopted. God saw fit to make her sterile, but that didn't stop her from messing with the minds of three abandoned kids with her maternal madness.
Comity wrote:
it just plain doesn't make sense unless she feels that she is somehow a one-woman embodiment of the whole family, like a totalitarian leader.
I think that's precisely how she sees herself. My fiance expressed how odd it seemed during the Christmas Eve dinner that he was begrudgingly invited to. The entire conversation was totally centered on her. She controlled what was talked about, and no one even attempted to bring up any new topics. Everyone just responded to and validated whatever she was saying. My fiance wanted to know if its always like this. To be honest, the only time it isn't is when she's relaxed, and in a good mood, which gets more rare as she ages.
SadEyes wrote:
My only comment is that if you are continuing to write her letters (not sure if you are), then you are keeping your negative interactions alive no matter how LC or NC you are.
Nope - not continuing to write her. Although it was initiated by her, I am NC with her and aim to stay that way.
A couple of other things...In her letter, she talks about how my brother's girlfriend purposely stayed away at Christmas so we could have "just family time" because of my dad's illness, as if some big sacrifice was made. Actually, 18 years ago my family moved from a midwestern state to a southern state, that is, all of us except for my brother M, who stayed in the midwest. In all that time, brother M has come down to visit at least once or twice a year, and only twice brought his gf down to visit. Neither of those visits were at Christmas time. She's mad because I had the nerve to have my bf for Christmas Eve dinner, even though she initially had me invite him, then rescinded her invitation, then changed her mind and had me invite him again. And that statement in her letter is just one of a zillion negative comparisons she's always making between me and my bros.
Another thing, at the incident after the hospital where she transferred from my fiance's car to hers, I remember my fiance waiting for her to get in her car to make sure it started okay before he pulled out of the parking lot. When she was at the door of her car, she kept waving at us as if to say go ahead and leave. And I remember rolling down the window to tell her that we're waiting on her to get in her car and make sure it starts. If we had done what she was telling us to do and left, that would have given her more to complain about.
She also complained to me that she "even had to pay for his lunch" at the hospital, which sounded like my bf put her on the spot and made her pay for his. I wasn't there, so I asked my bf. He said that he was prepared to pay for both of their lunches, but she insisted on paying for his because he took the day off work to drive us. I know that's true because that sounds exactly like something momster would say. Yet she wants to make it sound like she was put out by it.
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