How does the letter make me feel? Well, I think it's clearly an example of just how sick she is, classic BPD crap, and as Schnitzel said, it makes my skin crawl too. I had told her a couple of times in the recent past that I thought she needed to seek help from a therapist. Of course, she isn't able to receive that, so this letter is sort of a projection on me. Sort of like... "C&W, you really have mental problems. Not that it has anything to do with us raising you. You had problems when you came to us as a 3 yo (no fault of yours), and we did the best we could to love you and raise you, but apparently it wasn't good enough and didn't work, because here you are 40 years later and you're still screwed up!"
My skin crawls whenever she mentions "the Lord". Since breaking away from her, I've been seeking spiritual growth and have gotten very involved in a local church. She knows this and has felt threatened by it. So she has discouraged me and made put-down remarks to me about it. But I've let her remarks go in one ear and out the other. I'm not going to let her take God from me. It's been decades since she's been to church any time other than Christmas or Easter, and she never opens the Bible. But isn't it odd how she now sprinkles her language with "the Lord" this and the Lord" that, as if she's got some kind of corner on God, lol!
The part where she talks about my bf being rude to her is so totally distorted. My bf and momster met me at my apartment complex the day I was supposed to go to the hospital to have surgery on my wrist. My bf drove both of us to the hospital, and then drove us back to drop my momster off at her car which was parked at my apartment complex. I remember him asking momster if she needed help with her bags. She didn't answer him, but just abruptly got out of the car. My bf asked me what was wrong with her. And I said something like, "Oh don't worry about it. She's old and gets in funny moods some times." My bf now thinks she must have heard me say that, because the car window was down on his side, hence the remark about me making fun of her for being old. I guess in momster's mind, my bf wasn't supposed to just ask "Can I help you?". He was supposed to just automatically jump out of the car and help her, a small slight that has gotten exaggerated to an extreme offense in momster's mind.
Brother S used to be painted black. Now he's divorced and last I heard out of a job. So because momster has painted me black, S gets to be white now, and has been getting some financial help from momster. But he'll have to put up with a lot of crap too. Apparently, she has him running. "Bless him", she says. Just a dig to let me know that I've dropped the ball and brother S is picking it up.
Take care and all of us from the F family wish you the best.
Love, The F's
Notice: not "we all wish you the best. Love Mom and Dad" It's a hurtful dig to say the F family wishes you the best now that you're no longer a part of the F family. Little does she know, I'm very happy to no longer be a part of the dysfunctional mess she calls a family!
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